# Duncan Thorpe: Disrupting the Mammalian Industrial Nail Complex

EP-000 | April 1, 2021 | 22:28




Maintainable Nails: Robby sits down with Duncan Thorpe, the inventor, esteemed entrepreneur, and voice actor about thinking beyond the limits of our current thinking.





## Show Notes

## Maintainable Nails: Bonus Episode 02

Robby is joined by eccentric billionaire inventor and voice actor Duncan Thorpe, broadcasting from a secret island off the coast of Northern Europe. Together, they take listeners on a deeply unhinged (yet disturbingly logical?) journey into the tyranny of mammalian nail maintenance and the radical future of nail replacement.

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## 🔍 Episode Highlights

- [00:00:00] **Welcome and Introductions:** Robby introduces Duncan Thorpe and sets the tone for a conversation that quickly derails in unexpected directions.
- [00:01:10] **Are Maintainable Nails Even Possible?** Duncan rejects the premise of nail upkeep entirely, calling it a lie rooted in genetic tyranny.
- [00:02:05] **Disrupting the Nail Space:** Duncan introduces his biotech venture, _Hard Ass Nails_, and explains why humanity must transcend traditional nails.
- [00:03:30] **How Clicky Made Him Billions:** Duncan recalls his invention of a one-click shopping platform and how it financed his nail revolution.
- [00:04:30] **Legal Woes and Voice Acting Scandals:** Robby tiptoes around litigation, including lawsuits from the San Diego Zoo and a failed show called _Footy Talk_.
- [00:06:10] **The Industrial Nail Complex:** Duncan discusses lobbying, sabotage, and his break with the traditional nail-care establishment.
- [00:07:00] **Space-Grown Diamond Nails:** Why stop trimming your nails when you can replace them with shimmering sheets of lab-grown perfection?
- [00:07:40] **A Blinding Reveal:** Duncan warns Robby about the dazzling visual effects of his diamond nails—viewer discretion advised.
- [00:08:00] **DIY Vaccines and Clone Ethics:** Duncan details his self-sourced COVID vaccine, brewed with blood from younger versions of himself.
- [00:09:30] **Mass Adoption & Cultural Shifts:** Could society embrace surgically implanted diamond nails? What about survival rates?
- [00:11:00] **Astronaut Hygiene & Nail Clippings in Zero-G:** Duncan explains how standard nails pose existential risks on the International Space Station.
- [00:13:10] **Beyond Nail Polish:** Robby reflects on the psychology of nail adornment; Duncan insists diamond nails force emotional reckoning.
- [00:15:10] **Free Nails—If You Join the Martian Program:** Listeners can qualify for complimentary Hard Ass Nails by enlisting in Duncan’s space or subterranean missions.
- [00:18:00] **Where to Sign Up:** Clicky Prime or hardassnails.nails—plus a quick blood test to determine if you're "genetically suited."
- [00:20:00] **Redefining ‘Nails’:** Duncan campaigns to rename construction nails to eliminate semantic confusion with human nails.
- [00:21:10] **Closing Thoughts:** Robby thanks Duncan, who insists this interview “has happened.” Mission accomplished.

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## 🧪 Mentioned Projects

- [Hard Ass Nails](https://hardassnails.nails) – Duncan’s biotech venture replacing fingernails with diamond implants 
- _Clicky_ – One-click shopping platform that sparked Duncan's empire 
- _Footy Talk_ – Duncan’s banned late-night show about foot and hand care 
- Martian Colonization Program – Enroll via Clicky Prime for free upgrades

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## 🚀 About Maintainable Nails

_Maintainable Nails_ explores the cutting edge of nail care innovation through long-form interviews with the world’s boldest thinkers in nail technology, maintenance philosophy, and post-mammalian beauty trends.

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Subscribe to Maintainable on:

- [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/maintainable/id1459893010)
- [Overcast](https://overcast.fm/itunes1459893010/maintainable)
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Or search "Maintainable" wherever you stream your podcasts.

> 🌀 This episode is part of an annual satirical tradition released by [Maintainable.fm](https://maintainable.fm) for April Fools'. All interviews are fully improvised and intended for entertainment purposes only.








## Transcript